


I'm glad you're here

by shamoolala



Category: Free!
Genre: Burns, Kind of angsty, M/M, Memory, Ran has post-traumatic stress disorder, angsty to start, haru and makoto dont meet till theyre 13, haru is a supportive friend and boyfriend, hopefully, house fire, its not that big in the story though, makoto has a fear of fire, makoto has a fear of the Joker and Jigsaw, makoto has baggage, makoto has panic attacks, makoto moves house, ran has a scar thing, there will be a happy end, yey haru great guy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:58:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5047627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamoolala/pseuds/shamoolala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru grazed his hand up Makoto’s thigh, following the branching scar that followed like a river from his ankle. Haru thought it was beautiful; It was like water was coursing through him and when Haru’s hand stopped halfway up the others thigh, Makoto looked at Haru, curious as to why he stopped. </p><p>"What happened that day?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the memory

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the lovely fan-dabby-dosey [Hazel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thehazelverse/pseuds/thehazelverse) for being an awesome beta :)

Haru grazed his hand up Makoto’s thigh, following the branching scar that followed like a river from his ankle. Haru thought it was beautiful; It was like water was coursing through him and when Haru’s hand stopped halfway up the others thigh, Makoto looked at Haru, curious as to why he stopped. 

“What happened that day?" Haru asked, looking up at Makoto’s face. "-actually no it’s okay, you don't have to tell me,” he dismissed. He had only heard snippets of what happened through his panic attacks, but he never truly understood what happened five years ago.

“No it’s okay, I want to tell you,” Makoto reached his hand behind his neck and looked up “well…” 

Makoto began trying to recall what happened, “it was around halloween because there was lots of pumpkins everywhere, and they were all lit up down the street. It was really cool.” 

Makoto wasn’t looking at Haru, he was keeping his eyes up near the ceiling, “It must have been the night of halloween because, um,” Makoto moved his hand a bit as if trying to grasp the right words. “They were all dressed up as villains. One was dressed like the Joker, and another had a mask like that saw movie? And uh, there was another one, but i never saw his face- he just...had this voice like he smoked a lot or something.” 

Makoto closed his eyes and took a minute to recall while Haru sat patiently, waiting for him to continue. Makoto kept his eyes closed when he began talking, like he was envisioning it behind his eyes. 

“It was around two in the morning and they probably thought the house was asleep, but I had Ren and Ran in my room, since it was halloween night on a Saturday so they could stay up late,” he said, “We were all talking and telling scary stories under my duvet, but since we didn’t want to disturb our parents we were talking quietly. And...when Ren was in the middle of telling his story, I heard the front door downstairs. I could tell it was the front door because it had this really distinct click sound when it was closing that you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t hear it everyday. I told them to keep talking. I was just going to the bathroom 'cause I thought that maybe my dad had let the dog out and accidentally closed the door on himself. But when I silently closed my bedroom door so I didn’t disturb the silence covering the house, I heard this _voice_. It definitely wasn’t from our family,” Makoto stated with the slight shake of his head. “It had this groggy thick sound to it, and the voice was telling two other people what to do but I couldn’t make out what they were saying because I was upstairs.” Makoto was moving his right hand around more, trying to emphasis what he was saying, “At this point I was slightly panicky and i didn’t want to freak out Ren and Ran, because what could they do? And what if I told mum and dad, and it was just the tv? So I just waited. I waited for any sign that it was anything but what i was thinking. But then i heard this crackling. And it was too close, too _alive_ to be a tv. So I knew people were in our house. And I knew I should have gone right into my parents room, but I was petrified. I felt like I couldn’t move! I just stood there listening to the crackling get more and more alive. If I could have just ran across the landing to my parents room, but I could still hear their laughing, their _cackling_ that mixed with the sizzling. If had ran across the landing, I thought they would see me and then what would have happened? So I sat on the floor behind the wall of the stairs, hearing my home being melted. I heard the laughter and chatter coming closer and so -and I really don’t know why- but I peeked round the corner.” Makoto was rubbing his eyes like he was trying to get rid of the vision behind his eyes, “I saw a man looking dead at me” 

Makoto was getting more and more tense as he kept on talking. “He had this scarily real Joker costume on, his hair was the same ratty green and the makeup was smeared across his face- he was even wearing the same clothes. It was _terrifying_. He pressed his fingers to his mouth like he was telling me to be quiet. I couldn’t believe he saw me, he knew I was there. I just saw the orange dancing on his face, creating these terrifying shadows on the wall behind him.” Makoto brought his knee closer to his chest and wrapped his right arm around them as he spoke. “And then they closed the door, after the guy with the weird voice told him to get out the house.” Haru noticed that Makoto was starting to shake, he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to send Makoto into a panic attack, so he placed his hand on top of Makoto’s left hand that was still resting on the bed. Reassuring him that he wasn’t in that house, he was here with Haru and everything was okay. 

Makoto took a few deep breaths before continuing. “Once they left, I started to _really_ feel the heat in the house and so I went downstairs to see it,” Makoto was squeezing his eyes shut, “and I saw the whole living room and kitchen area in flames. S-so I ran upstairs to tell my parents and when I opened the door to their room, the fire alarm went off. The pure panic in their eyes was terrifying. I’d always seen them so calm and together but to suddenly see them frantically running around and ushering me out the door scared me and made it more real. I told them where Ren and Ran were as I was told to wait outside and call the fire brigade. I couldn’t dial the number fast enough because my hands were shaking so badly. An-and then when my mum came out to tell me Ran wasn't in my room, I couldn’t breathe.” 

Makoto reached up to his throat as if someone had their hands round it. “I ran back to the house, leaving the dialled phone with my mum to find my dad. But when I was halfway up the stairs I heard this shriek. There was no doubt it was Ran, so I skidded down the stairs and screamed her name. I had to find her! I couldn’t just let her find her way out herself. She was too young!” Makoto looked down at his hands that were in tight fists in his lap. “She was too young,” he breathed out. “When I got to the door of the lounge, all I could see was the heavy smoke so it was useless using my eyes. I screamed for Ran to answer me and after my my fourth scream I heard coughing, so I ran around to the kitchen door where I could hear the coughing and shouted her name once more. I heard this weak voice say “onii-chan” and I ran through a gap in the fire to get to her but when I got there. I couldn’t find her. I screamed again and when I heard a muffled onii-chan, I felt my gut drop. I was already struggling to breathe under the smoke but when I saw my little sister being held by some guy in a weird mask that looked like one from the Saw movie I couldn't tell if what I was seeing was real or not. I thought I was dreaming and I was going to wake up with Ren and Ran under my duvet, but no matter how much I dug my nails into my palm, I wouldn't wake up. It hurt like hell. 

“I walked forward while he sat there perfectly still, as my sister struggled against him. He just stared forward and then when I was close enough he started to speak. He said that this was for what I did.” 

Haru sat up straighter and repeated what he said in his head. _What he did?_ Makoto carried on talking. 

“He then took Ran round the kitchen wall into the lounge, as she screamed into the rag round her mouth. I couldn’t breathe; I was going to pass out from either my loss of oxygen or from the panic running around my head and then-” Makoto swallowed the excess saliva in his mouth, “th-then when I tried to run after her, the fire got to the stove and he must have turned the gas on, because it exploded. I couldn't hear anything and my vision was going blurry from the smoke. I couldn't feel my legs so I couldn't stand. I couldn't breathe and my head felt like it would explode... I thought I was going to die, so I closed my eyes. I don't know how long I was in the burning room but it couldn't have been long because next thing I knew, I was freezing and I could hear my mum c-crying” Makoto brought his hand up to his mouth as his eyes started to water. His body shook with a sob and Haru wrapped his arms around the large boy, leaning his forehead on his shoulder, feeling the sobs wave through him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Makoto took a shaky breath and cleared his throat. “Okay.” 

Haru removed his head from it’s place on Makoto’s shoulder and looked at his flushed face. “You don’t have to apologize, Makoto.” Haru rubbed Makoto's back in reassurance. 

Makoto gave a weak smile not looking at Haru, to show he was okay and carried on his story. “I later found out I had to go to the hospital because I had inhaled so much smoke and my breathing was difficult. I couldn't feel my right leg for a few weeks after because when I was on the floor, my pajama trousers had caught fire and burned my leg. The fire brigade were the people who got me out and they went back in to get Ran, they came out and said that she had been left on the floor of the lounge with the rag around her neck. She was in the hospital too because they had to examine her smoke intake and when they examined her, they found three parallel cuts, that later turned into scars because they were so deep. I’m sure she still has them” Makoto shook his head trying to get the thought out of his mind. “It’s a brutal reminder of what happened. To be honest with you, I'm surprised I made it.” Makoto looked down at his hands, and Haru slipped his hand into Makoto’s.

“I’m glad you did.”


	2. the calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was Haru’s favourite time of day because it felt to easy. The world felt asleep after the hectic night that left people in random places. It was the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up that Makoto and Haru are not dating yet
> 
> and again thanks to [Hazel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thehazelverse/pseuds/thehazelverse) for being a beta

Haru got a call at 3 in the morning from Makoto. He was crying and he couldn’t breathe; he could barely talk, so he grabbed the first shoes that were by the door and ran over in joggers and a black t-shirt. Not to mention it was mid-winter so when he got to the other’s house he was shaking, thanks to his inability to hold heat.

When he got to the house Makoto was already standing outside the propped open door, rubbing his arms and breathing through his mouth, causing little white puffs to disperse into the air. When Haru walked to the door, Makoto’s eyes widened and he gave a little smile “that was fast,” he said as he opened the door to let Haru in. Makoto’s eyes were rubbed red and heavy-lidded- his voice was rough too.

Haru kicked off his shoes realising that one was his mum’s purple sandals and the other one of his tattered navy pull ons. Oops. The house was dark and silent. He turned to Makoto and as if he read his mind, he said “everyone’s asleep,” in a whisper as he passed Haru.

He nodded even though Makoto couldn't see him. Haru walked after Makoto watching his back muscles move under his shirt. Haru could tell he was tense. He heard the slightest sniffle and ragged breath. He must have been crying really hard. 

When they turned the corner of the stairs leading to Makoto’s room, in the darkness of the hallway, Haru impulsively reached for Makoto’s hand. Makoto jumped a bit looking down at him. Now that Haru thought about it, they held hands all the time and shared small touches, but was that weird? He never saw other guys in his class do that. It seemed like second nature to him but he'd never done it with anyone else.In the silence of the house at night, it suddenly seemed different. He started to tense up, feeling awkward and embarrassed now. When he felt the squeeze of Makoto’s hand against his, he shot his head up, looking at Makoto as he turned round the doorway into his bedroom. Did Makoto read him? Was that reassurance or was that appreciation for the display of support?

Haru reluctantly let go of Makoto’s hand as he walked over to his bed. He crawled up to the wall and sat against it as Makoto closed the door silently.

He kept his eyes on the other’s face as he walked over to his bed, trying to read his expression. He seemed kind of...blank...What happened? Makoto put a knee on the bed and flopped face forward onto the mattress.

“Sorry about asking you to come over this late, Haru.” Makoto’s words were muffled through the duvet. Makoto turned his head a bit to peek at Haru. “Did I wake you up when I called? You sounded sleepy.” 

“Sleep isn’t important,” Haru dodged the question, he didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t been sleeping because he was thinking about what Makoto had told him the day before.

“Mmmmmhmm. Okay Haru.” Makoto readjusted so he was facing Haru on the bed. “Its weird. I felt terrible for a few seconds, but now that you're here, I feel a lot better.” Makoto said as he slowly closed his eyes.

Haru stared at him, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. He had to busy himself to distract from the blush rising, so he moved to lay down across from Makoto. He ran his eyes over Makoto’s face, taking in his appearance. Haru thought he was so pretty. He had the deepest colour of brown in his hair and even if he had just woke up, the bed hair suited him. He had a really strong jawline that suited his facial features. Especially how the moonlight was hitting his face he was just so, “beautiful”.

Haru’s eyes widened. Did he just say that out loud? Makoto was looking at him with heavy-lidded bloodshot eyes. Since when did his eyes get so green? They were like glowing orbs piercing into his skull.

Haru pursed his lips, his eyes still wide with shock. How can he explain that? Maybe he can play it off that he was thinking of water...that normally works.

“Did you just call me beautiful?” Makoto inquired in a honeyed voice, more of a statement than a question. He moved his arm and propped his head up to get a better look at Haru.

Haru turned his head into the mattress trying to hide his face, oh god why did he say that out loud? He wanted to curl into himself and evaporate. He lifted his hand up to cover his face, and mumbled a little yes into it, causing Makoto to giggle.

Haru peeked between his fingers hearing Makoto’s angelic giggle fill the room. 

Makoto turned onto his back and closing his eyes again. “That's cute,” he breathed out quietly. His breathing fell into a steady rhythm. He must be really tired- the crying probably drained all his energy.

Haru dropped his hand from his face. He was falling far for this boy. 

***

Haru didn’t know when but at some point they both fell asleep. What was strange was that the bed felt really hot and he could feel movement around him. Haru was a light sleeper so he woke up with confusion running around in his mind. He dragged his eyelids open and when he saw the larger boy next to him, shaking and tossing his head, he had a mild panic. What was wrong with him? Why was he shaking? 

Haru lifted his upper half with his elbows, whispering Makoto’s name. Why wasn’t he waking up? Panic was racing though Haru’s mind. When the shaking only got worse and there was an occasional whimper, Haru got onto his knees and tried shaking Makoto’s shoulders. Makoto felt heavier than usual, so it wasn’t doing much to wake him. 

Haru didn’t know what to do. He’d never experienced someone having a nightmare other than himself before. Is there some kind of trick to waking him up? He looked around to see if there was anything he could use to wake him up. His attention was shortly brought back as another whine came from Makoto. Haru, not knowing what else to do, intertwined his fingers with Makoto’s and whispered, “I’m right here Makoto, it’s okay.” Haru slid his other hand onto Makoto’s cheek, hoping this would ground him. He continued whispers of _I'm here_ and _it's okay_.

Makoto noticeably calmed down, his breathing evening out. Is he okay? He took his hands back and sat on the bed listening to Makoto’s breathing and the silence of the house. Haru rubbed his face -it felt stiff from sleeping- and maneuvered around Makoto’s sleeping body to get off the bed. Why did he choose the space between the wall and Makoto? He stretched out his limbs, feeling the satisfying pull of his muscles. Haru hated the process of waking up, he felt like death every morning.

He looked over his shoulder to see Makoto still peacefully sleeping. He smiled to himself, he looked so at ease. He liked this side of Makoto.

The double door to the balcony caught his attention, the idea of fresh air sounded very appealing right now.

He left the door half way open to air out the stuffy room. Haru loved the view from Makoto's room. He could see his own room very easily from where he was standing. Haru remembered the first time he saw Makoto on this very balcony a few days after he moved in. The people that lived in this house before Makoto never used this room- it was always dark. So it was weird to see people in this room with the lights on and busily rushing in and out. That’s when he saw Makoto for the first time. He thought it would just be another person that would smile politely to him when they passed on the stairs, and that they would never get past first name basis. Little did he know how much Makoto would impact his life. He’s such an important person in his life, he doesn’t know how he coped without him before. 

Well he didn’t cope very well honestly. He didn't find any reason to make friends and he didn't find any reason to do anything. He wouldn't have considered himself depressed, he just didn't find any purpose in anything. Why make friends if they leave you? Why spend large amounts of money on clothes that you grow out of? Why do your homework if you got away with not doing it? His teachers always gave him good grades because he naturally passed everything. He didn't need the effort if he passed anyway. He didn't like doing group activities because if he did work no one would appreciated it, but if he didn't then everyone would call him lazy and half-assed, but he just didn't care. He didn't have the time or patience to rely on other people. 

His parents constantly asked him if he was happy. He would always respond to them with “I’m fine” because he was. He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t happy either. He was just. Fine. He was okay with just being fine.

So when he saw a brunette boy sitting on the stone steps with his back against the wall, throwing a ball back and forth. Why did he feel the instinct to say hi, and ask him how his day was? If he went to school near here, or if he moved from far away? He thought this green eyed boy was intriguing and something was pulling him closer to him. He didn’t know why, but this boy felt like home.

***

Haru had been standing on the balcony for what felt like an hour, the sun was starting rise so it must be around 7 in the morning. 

The winter morning breeze felt so refreshing on his skin.

The breeze was rustling the trees, and the curtains on Makoto's balcony door. This was Haru’s favourite time of day (even though he would never get out of bed early enough to see it) because it felt to easy. The world felt asleep after the hectic night that left people in random places. It was the calm before the storm. No one was up unless they were going somewhere; and if they were, they were too tired to cause any trouble. Nature was awake and preparing for the day ahead, birds would chirp and sometimes even owls were still awake. 

Haru leaned his forearms on the balcony edge, watching the sea ahead of him wash in and out. The dark blue gradually getting lighter as the sun came over the horizon. 

Haru wouldn’t lie that he was a little jealous of the view Makoto had from his room.

“Hey, early bird” Haru jumped at the sudden voice and turned his head to see the source.

Makoto was standing there stretching his back out - showing some stomach while he was at it - with messy bed hair and a tired yawn stretched across his face.

Haru had to turn back around so his distracting muscles didn’t drive him round the bend. 

He could feel the presence of the other behind him, "the sunrise really is pretty isn't it?" Makoto acknowledged, sighing into the morning breeze. 

"Yeah," Haru rested his head on his hand, listening to his and Makoto’s syncopated breathing. He liked this peace- there was no stress about upcoming events and no worry about current issues. Everything seemed tranquil.

Haru felt the brush of Makoto's shoulder on his own, and looked over to him. "I wish things were this nice all the time." Makoto was facing the window with his back leaning against the balcony rail. He was looking at the sky with a longing look; his hair being tossed around by the breeze. 

Haru felt the urge to be close to Makoto so he rested his head on the other’s shoulder, feeling the warmth through his shirt. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing in sync and minds on other things. “I hope everything stays like this,” said Haru.

It would be nice if things did, and Haru only hoped his own words would stay true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohohokay warning that shit goes down after this :)) get ready for the angst train woowoo 
> 
> (also i really appreciate anyone reading this its nice that anyone would read my weird makoharu story hahaha)

**Author's Note:**

> ratings might go up depending on what i think up and tags while definetly be added including more relationships, this is just a first chapter to whole load of shenanigans :))  
> feel free to leave a comment or kudos, should update soon...but thats not a promise. I won't leave you forever though.  
> HAVE A GREAT DAY!


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